Puke, Poop, and Oxi-Clean

Warning:  If you can't deal with the words "puke" or "poop" then read no further.  If you are a mom and can't deal with these words, you need help.

Most of you probably think I am still a mom-in-training & therefore don't deal with puke or poop in the middle of the night.  Quite the contrary:  poor Brie apparently got sick at some point overnight.... hence the apt title for this post  :)

We let the puppies sleep in bed with us last night, as they had just gotten baths two days ago and were so clean and cuddly  :)  But this morning, I woke up hearing her pre-puking noises and unfortunately was just a few seconds too late in grabbing a towel for her to puke on... so instead, she just puked in our bed.  It's certainly not the first time we've dealt with dog puke - sometimes it's in the middle of the night, sometimes during the day, eh - it's just dog puke.  Yeah it's gross & slimy, but we have puke once or twice a week due to sensitive puppy tummies.  So I grab the oxi-clean and treat the spot before throwing our flat sheet & blanket into the washer.  As I'm spraying, I look over toward our bathroom and, in the great haze of morning vision, see a dark area near the wall.  Poop!  Yummy.  I thought I had smelled something weird in the middle of the night, but I AM married to Peter after all, so I just ignored it.  (That was rude.  But it was too funny to remove from the post)  :)

Anyway, as I was walking to the washer to throw in the sheet & blanket (haha!  The word "sheet" just made me laugh since I was just talking about Brie's poop)...  Okay seriously, ANYWAY, I was walking to the washer and, now wearing my glasses, could clearly see another "pile" in the entryway.  I use the word "pile" extremely LOOSELY, as that's just what the pile was: very very "loose" - I believe it was the aftermath from pile #1.  But really, no big deal... We've had poop issues around here for well over a year (now I'm not talking about Peter - just the dogs), so cleaning it up is old hat.

So I first dealt with the pile on the carpet in our bedroom.  I removed said pile with an inordinate wad of toilet paper that would put most potty training 3-year-olds to shame, and as I turn to walk toward the toilet, I step in PEE!  Sweet!  I dumped the evidence, cleaned off my foot, refrained from cursing (I honestly wasn't even mad at the poor dog - she really just had gotten sick in the middle of the night :(  Poor Brie), and then went to the hardwood entryway to remove that "pile."*  Although it's typically easier to clean up this sort of mess on hardwood, the smearing effect amplified a smell that no one should have to inhale this early in the morning.  

Okay the sheets are in the washer, the piles have been removed, now it's scrub time...  I mixed up some oxi-clean (I'm talking the powder here, people - not the spray stuff I used on the sheets).  I dumped an entire bottle of oxi-clean all over the poop and pee areas in the bedroom and scrubbed them down with a brush.  I felt like Cinderella (only no awesome dress to wear at the end of it all, not that I'd even fit into one if I had the opportunity.....).  I got out my mom's carpet shampooer, not to shampoo the carpets, but just to serve as a wet vac that I could use to suck up all the water/oxi-clean.  Cleaning that carpet shampooer almost removes all desire to ever use it again, but I cleaned it anyway and am currently waiting for the carpet to dry (now if that isn't exciting, I don't know what is).  

All the while, Peter took the dogs out to poop & pee some more in their pre-approved grassy areas.  I was more than happy to clean up said messes since he was dealing with the dogs in the rain - I HATE rain.  And now both puppies have crawled into the cage and fallen back asleep.  Brie must REALLY be feeling bad if she's not bounding from couch to couch right now.  We can get up at 5am and she's ready to play.  Perhaps this mean there will be more puke & poop stories to come later in the day.  Be prepared, all you queasy ones............ 

The End.

*Grammar tip of the day:  Periods and commas almost always go inside the quotation mark at the end of a sentence!

http://grammartips.homestead.com/inside.html